Day 122: Thursday Mornings Are My Favorite

Its remarkable what a good cuddle can do for your spirit. An emotional lift that allows for the last two days of the work week to simply slip by.

On Thursday morning’s my partner gets to work from home, which while a blessing and a curse for our food stores, is pure bliss from a “start of the day” standpoint.  Instead of waking up before 7. I now get to sleep in till 8 am and wake up slowly in the embrace of someone amazing on a work day.  How is that not a great way to wake up? It makes me feel warm and loved and special. And I wish that everyone could experience the simple joy that is this slow kind of wake-up.

What I don’t love is my diet’s stagnation.

Upon reflecting on the past two months and as a result of my inconsistent/poor diet execution, I’ve made a decision this morning.  I can’t be in the kitchen for the remainder of my diet.  I mean, I love cooking and all… but I’m cheating on myself and its got to stop. A nibble of cheese, chocolate or fruit here and there… Its never large enough that I’ve felt the need to comment on it here. But since my vacation it’s just gotten worse. I’ve had great days and then binge days… and they seem to be more frequent.  The stress of Monday aside, there’s no excuse to have eaten as much as I did then… or the 3/4  bag of Beanitos Chips in addition to a Qdoba burrito I ate last night while watching Jurassic Park at the “outdoor cinema.”

I’m feeling really ashamed of my behavior, but I’ve also got a fire in me to get this done. I do love food, but if I want to be able to eat what I want, I’ve got to drop the weight so I can workout 5-6 times a week. Dropping the weight will make it easier to maintain, maintaining will make it easier to grow muscle, and the more muscle + workouts, the less my nibbles will affect me.

Yesterday (serendipitously), my wonderful boyfriend complimented me and it couldn’t have come at a better time.  It’s like he knew that I was struggling internally with my pride and body image and he paid a compliment on how muscular my back was getting. So what did I do? I kissed him. Haha, I mean… Who doesn’t like being told your back is looking stronger and more toned? Actually it helped reinforce my lack of weight loss. For the last 2-3 weeks I’ve been falling in a range between 250-254. I’m pretty sure this can be attributed to anything from the food I’m digesting, to water weight combined with increased muscle mass which require additional calories to maintain. So I’m maintaining. Great? Well, anyone can tell you maintaining is better than gaining when your goal is fat loss.

All of this is theoretical and meant to be self-motivating based off of what I’ve been taught and read… But I’d like to believe it.

You want some anecdotal evidence (because its fun and psychologically influencing)? Sure I’ve got some. My arms are getting huge.  I’m thinking I might be able to attempt a leg-less rope climb soon. I mean… I did my first chin-up since I was 9 years old last week.

If I can do that- Who knows what else I’m capable of?

This time for the last time.

Goals for the Week

  • Workout 3 times:
    • Wednesday
  • Do at least 3 significant cardio activities:
  • Portion control your food (0/2)
    • Monday: Fail.  Oh… Ice Cream, cookies, a healthy dinner after that, but damn.  It was binge night of stress.
    • Tuesday: Fail. Bagel after work, then Biscuits & Caprese Salad with Red Cabbage Soup.
    • Wednesday: Failing with style.  Bring on the binge, fortunately it was baked, mostly black bean chips… but still.

Days since I’ve eaten…

  • Ice Cream or other Dessert: 2
  • Deep Fried food: 10
  • A Carb-focused meal: 1
  • Too many helpings: 0

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