Where’s the will to create?

I’ve mentioned before, that I hate possibly even loathe the phrase, “Everybody thinks they have a great idea.” It’s dismissive and stymies growth.

In my experience, doing something is a great way to learn. So your initial idea was short-sighted, simple, or impossible. As long as you step back, process, and learn? What’s to stop your next idea from being something great.

But I’d like to talk about the positive path. The path in which you actually do something… I have a thousand ideas for a thousand projects at any one time. And I feel like next to none of them get accomplished.

This isn’t a fair mindset to me or my partner.

As I was talking with Joel this weekend, I realized that I don’t give enough credit to the accomplishments we’ve achieved at home. For some reason, I only see those things that aren’t finished. While this is certainly a negative point of view, it’s not meant from an antagonistic perspective. Rather one of fear.

Growing up, we had several projects going on at our house. Constantly. From the time I was, oh, 5 or so till the day we sold my childhood home about a year ago. This constant state of “unfinished” has left a bit of an anxiety-driven hole in my heart where I’m concerned that I’m going to live in a state of perpetual construction, with nothing ever being completed.

But why is perpetual construction a bad thing?

As Joel said (and I’m adlibbing here), “it’s not finished, but it’s not like we’re suffering or making compromises in it’s current state.” I mean yes, if we were living (as we were) in dry wall dust, with unfinished walls and had a floor with screws all over…That’d be one thing.

But our house? We have finished floors and painted walls. We have nicely put together ceiling with recessed lights and built in speakers. We did an AMAZING number of updates to our house in a 6 month period. And, ignoring the 8k spent on appliances in the kitchen, it all came in rather cheap. The biggest single expense being the removal of a fireplace (which was dead center in our now expansive open floorplan).

It’s true. We’ve done A LOT. Wait, what was I talking about? I suddenly feel a bit better, haha.

Oh yes, completing projects.

In spite of feeling much better about our remodel, I still feel like I’m not delivering on personal projects. And no matter how you slice it. This is true.

I just… I feel tired. The time where I could be sitting down and writing, or working on web development, or painting, or updating my portfolio… I instead spend time consuming pointless media either on the internet or my apple tv.

I realize that the will to do things won’t just jump up and slap me in the face. So tired or not, it’s up to me to make it happen. It simply won’t happen until I do something about it.

Thus, last night was the first night of cutting off the sources of distraction.

  • First the Apple TV… It’s only gonna be watched on Sundays. Thanks to cutting the cord, we can watch what and when we want. So there’s no reason we have to turn it on during the week.
  • Next the media channels (facebook, twitter, etc). These… won’t help me get to where I want.
  • And finally hiding or deleting my games/steam account on my computer and phone so that they aren’t so easily accessible.

My daily goal is this: Do two selfishly creative things a day.

They can be sketches, animations, sound design, ui design, or whatever… Just, doing SOMETHING that gets me working on something personal. Small goals that can lead to bigger goals, that can lead to completed projects, that all fill up my cup of feeling fulfilled.  I’m hoping that by removing distractions and getting into the swing of creating more often, I’ll find this to be my way of “relaxing.”

Here’s hoping I’m setting myself up for success.


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